;H2♥

(Source: ariannekcee)

PART 1. Today was Tita Marivics’ 1st year graduation day at the Apostolic Training Institute.

The speakers’ message was sharp, simple, straight to the point. Completely mindblowing! I’m not even exaggerating! Lol. It made me appreciate the Word even more and opened my eyes to the dangers of neglecting and simplifying it. With all these translations and simplifications, the Word is losing its’ REAL meaning. It’s being softened and diluted to the extent that its’ original content is being put aside, to compromise man’s understanding with God’s will. Lesson: We must be careful and pray for correct wisdom and understanding from God. Don’t let the enemy twist the truth. He is a master of lies. Seek the truth. KJV version = authorised version.

PART 2.

The bus journey.

Today,after two years, I went through the route that has been part of my travel routine for 5 years. So much has changed.

I went pass the streets of my old houses, my highschool, my “hang out street”, the place where I’d used go EVERY saturday, the places where I used to eat. All the memories of who I used to be and what I used to do came flooding back.

They aren’t exactly the prettiest of memories. ;P But they were precious nonetheless.

The past is such a powerful factor in our lives. Looking back made me realise how much I’ve changed and grown not just physically and mentally but spiritually as well. It’s just overwhelming. I saw today as a realisation of how far God has brought me. He has been so good to me. He has blessed me with wonderful family and friends. And THANK GOD I’M NOT WHO I USED TO BE! Although it’s been such a rocky road, and I’ve STILL have a very LONG way to go,I’m making my way through.

In the midst of trials it’s so easy to question God, complain,moan and ask why is He putting you through this. Sometimes we need to PAUSE, and think of how much He has blessed us and how great His love and mercy is towards us. Be grateful. He’s brought you this far, He won’t let you go now. ;)

Lesson: HE HAS DONE GREAT THINGS! THANK HIM! :)

He has seriously enlightened me with perspectives that I would’ve never ever seen on my own. I’ve been going through the fire the last few weeks and this conversation gave me the strength to carry on and keep fighting.

It’s no secret. I’ve made a mistake which led to a series of chaotic events including hurting some of those closest to my heart. Ofcourse, this was unintentional. An honest mistake. I admit fault, yes and my heart grieves. Never in the world would I dream that it would end up like this. BUT HERE WE ARE and like I’ve said I believe…

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I’m so so so grateful! I believe that God used him to remind me that I AM HUMAN.

I am no God, no saint. Mistakes are inevitable in life!

And no, it’s not an excuse and it shouldn’t be an excuse but most times, mistakes are the tools in which God shows His greatness and His power.

When have fallen and when we are broken because of our mistakes, God sweeps in to remind us that HE IS PERFECT IN OUR WEAKNESS. That we can rely on Him to restore us in our state of brokeness.

Also, he reminded me that no one is perfect. Everyones’ bound to fall one time or another. It was never a question of ‘if’ but a question of ‘when’. It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve fallen or how low you are. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. We serve a forgiving God! What matters is how you get back up! How you rise to the occasion and say NO! The enemy can’t bring me down that easily.

“This is an opportunity to trust God and to surrender all your burdens on Him. You’ve become too comfortable and too complacent. You needed this. This is your molding process, embrace it!”

I hate to admit  but the guy made me see so much sense. Lol.

Thank you, MAC! You are a true blessing to me. <3

*Late post.

“Being Erica” talked about secrets and being victims. As usual, this led me in to thinking allsorts of things. LOL :)

Hmmm. I guess in a sense I was a victim of ‘its’ manipulations and lies. But despite all that, I can’t bring myself into hating ‘it’. There’s just no room for bitterness in my heart anymore. I lot of people may say it but I TRULY and HONESTLY believe that everything, every single detail and spectrum of my life has been planned out and everything has a reason and purpose. I may not see or understand it now but one day, I KNOW I’ll be looking back and I’ll be thanking God for leading me here and for bringing me out. (Cos’ I know He’ll see me through!) The fact that ‘its’ schemes are still on play is absolutely ridiculous and comical. Seriously, I don’t understand how ‘it’ could do it but it’s not my place to say anything anymore. I’m not gunna lie and deny that it doesn’t bug me. YES, every now and again, I think of ‘it’. Sometimes I feel a tad bit stupid while other times I make excuses for ‘it’ but Icome to my senses eventually and REALIZE ‘it’ is not worth it and that God has an amazing plan for my life waiting ahead. :))

As far as secrets are concerned, I’m gunna keep ‘its’ attitude and erm…the things concerning them on the low. At the end of the day,  I know the truth, God knows the truth and ‘it’ knows the truth. I don’t see how revealing could make anything any better or do anyone any favours. And I sure don’t want to be the person responsible for losing a soul that could’ve been saved. God will make a way to change ’ its’ ways. I’m not seeking revenge. The battle is not mine but of Gods’. I just hope and pray that God reveals and convicts ‘it’, -renew ‘its’ mind and ‘its’ ways. I pray that he may take this opportunity to draw himself nearer to God.

As for me, I’m still looking at the ways in which God is shaping me, only with more regards as to whats going on in my surroundings. I still miss the moments. I still wanna be there, as I’ve said before. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t ask for help. For me, it just doesn’t work that way. Is that something I need to change too?

I know it’s being done on purpose. To test me maybe? But like I’ve said, you need something, ask. I’ve already laid it out there and said I’m a call away. So, balls pretty much in their court. Every hour is a struggle but I’m learning slowly and surely to trust God and cast every anxiety and pain on you Him. It’s sooooooooo hard!! But I can do all things with Christ, who strengthens me. :))

I really hope that God’s working on marvelous revelations for him too! And that the change he claims is really and truly GENUINE. This seems to be a new motto for me but yeah…

Only time can tell. :)

Day05.

It’s not JUST about me.

Today was a reminder that no matter how focused you are with yourself, there’s always something playing in the background. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sweet soft music. Sometimes it’s just background noise. While a life without sound may give some a sense of tranquility, in the long run, everything will sound and feel empty.

Let’s be honest. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what and where to focus on but when have we ever been 100% certain that what we’re focusing on with ourselves is right?

Honestly, as selfish and self-centred as this sounds,I’ve set it in my mind that these 30 days we’re all about molding me, changing me, taking me deeper in love with God. How wrong was I?

I’ve learnt that there’s ALWAYS a bigger picture. No matter how bad things are with me, there’s someone out there in far worst situations.

I’ve mistaken this situation as mine when it’s not. Though I know God loves me fully and unconditionally, ITS NOT JUST ABOUT ME.

I believe He’s using the same situation, -this God given situation to mold and nurture us. To make us stronger as a family and bind us together with love and unity. I know we will overcome! His faithful followers always come out on top of any situation the enemy throws.

Previous Post.

*I’m posting this again. Simply because He’s done it again! Spared me from facing even greater pain in the future! This time it was much more serious and much more painful. But despite the fact that,I was A LOT more stubborn than before and have completely gone off the mark, He still made a way to rescue me. There’s no greater love than this!

____________________________________________________________

I found something out today about why my urm…lets just say, past didn’t work out.

At the time, I was heart broken. Devastated. And it took me many months to get over the matter.

Despite not having an inkling as to why something so (seemingly) perfect was taken away from me, I trusted God.

And was right to do so!

All I can say is GOD IS TRULY faithful and His greatness is immeasurable.

I could have been in that unbearable situation right now…but God didn’t allow it.

Goes to show that God has a purpose for everything!

God allowed that previous pain to occur to spare me from more pain I would’ve never been able to surpass.

*Praise break!*

“I rest in the thought that You’re watching over me!”

Thank You Jesus <3

Im tired of just waiting for things to happen you know.

I need a God-focused plan. :|

Today is not much different from yesterday.

Still, silent with a tad touch of improvement, having bought me my requested and ingredients and all. *sigh.

It’s easy to feel as though I was stronger yesterday. I didn’t think of it as much as I have done today. Every hour seemed to have provided me of flashbacks of everything said and done. The difference is though, everytime I thought about what had happened, how I’ve been hurt and what I’ve lost, I just close my eyes and whisper “God this is yours now. I’m letting go. I’m trusting You to see me through and overcome this.” And the second I open my eyes, a little weight is lifted off my shoulders. So, I guess in a subtle way, I’m being taught to hand over all my cares to God. I’m  being shown the relief and rewards of trusting God in whatever situation I’m facing.

“LET GO AND LET GOD HAVE HIS WAY.”

Time really is the only factor that will reveal everythings’ purpose and heal wounded hearts.

But I can’t just sit here and wait…expect a miracle with no work or effort done on my part. So, I’m picking up the pen, closing the chapters that have been long overdue.

CLEAN SLATE. Here we go.